I have been writing this blog since 2009. I’ve edited this section so many times and finally decided on this.
I want anyone who reads what I’ve written and observed the evolution herein to see firsthand that:
Sure, it’s painful, but it is possible. That is why I write. That is why I am honest. That is why I will write about my experiences with domestic violence, human trafficking, and childhood trauma and abuse. These experiences leave people in anguish and despair, but they don’t have to be permanent ontological states. If this has been your experience, then you will have to work harder than other people to attain some semblance of happiness and wholeness, and that’s the inherent injustice in being abused and hurt. You are behind the eight ball in many ways, but that only gives you compassion because this state is inherent to the human condition. Your familiarity with suffering and pain can either destroy you or give you an edge. It is, in the end, your choice even if you didn’t choose to be given such a choice. You do not have to view yourself as a victim. You can change your stance. You can become more than just a survivor. Eventually, you will become someone who overcomes, and an identity based in overcoming is a powerful one.
Nelson Mandela said, “Even if you have a terminal disease, you don’t have to sit down and mope. Enjoy life and challenge the illness that you have.” He also said, “There is no easy walk to freedom anywhere, and many of us will have to pass through the valley of the shadow of death again and again before we reach the mountaintop of our desires.” This is absolutely true, but I have learned that you get to where you want to go a lot faster when you go together. When you share your journey with others. I hope that I can add to your journey in some way.
In the end, I’ll always say the same thing:
Life is hard, and, to quote the Dread Pirate Roberts of William Goldman’s classic tale The Princess Bride, anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something. It’s evidence that every one of us has a battle to fight even if we look fine on the outside. We all carry injuries and scars. We all have stories to tell. Battles won. Battles lost. Not a one of us has it all together. Just because you look well enough doesn’t mean that you are. Never judge anyone particularly based upon their affect, appearance, or seemingly successful circumstances.
Healing, however, is possible. A good life is available to you with one caveat. You must fight for it. Nothing good comes to you without a fight.
So, be tenacious. Fight for the life you want. And never give up.
Shalom to you, MJ