Happy New Year, everyone! Although we are only just stepping into 2017, I hope that it has been good to you so far. 2017 has started out full speed ahead. After 19 years, I have returned to college for a graduate degree. Am I somewhat off my nut? A little.
Here’s the thing. There will never be a good time to rock the boat that is your life. I am, for example, a single parent. Even when I was married I was experientially a single parent. You can peruse the entirety of this blog, read what is obvious, read between the lines, and deduce that I was doing everything, for the most part, alone. I can tell you exactly why I did that, and it was not entirely my ex-husband’s fault. I had developed beliefs around my circumstances that kept me locked into a certain way of thinking–a limited way of thinking.
So, what was the solution? How does one think about the future when the present feels so limited? I chose to reimagine my future and “do it” anyway meaning I chose to make the choice I really wanted as if I didn’t have the present limitations, assuming that my life would adapt and expand for the life I was attempting to build. A bold move perhaps, but what are my options really?
I can either stay in the current smaller space and think small, accepting my perceived limitations, or I can change my view, imagine that my life would expand to fit the life I want, and take a step forward. Then, I applied to graduate school. I am now entering my third week. I won’t lie. It’s been bumpy. There have been complications. It’s winter. I get cluster headaches in winter. Nothing new there. One of my daughters is experiencing an exacerbation in her condition. Nothing terribly new there either. Disappointing? Yes.
What does all this mean? What is my conclusion?
Life is happening around us all the time. That will never change. The very familiar life that I know is happening. It will never be a good time for me to do what I really want. I might as well start doing it now then. I’ve had enough practice managing my life and complicated circumstances. I would think that I can manage all the complications that might arise then while building something better. That’s not a bad conclusion to reach. The only question then: Do I trust myself? Do I believe I can do it?
Yeah, I do. Look what I’ve done so far.
That is what I would offer up for 2017. There will never be a good time to decide to do what you really want. It’s akin to couples trying to decide when to have a baby. There is never a good time to have a baby. Babies change everything. If you want to have a child, then you just have to go for it. Embrace the messy, wonderful, exhausting process in the midst of the already messy, wonderful, traumatic, exhausting process of living.
There will never be a good time in your life for you to reinvent yourself, take a risk, do that one thing you’ve always wanted to do, make that one change you know that you really need to make, or make a plan of action. Life is not set up to ease us down the road of success. Life is set up to hinder us. That’s why we have heroes and heroines. They overcome extreme obstacles and provide us with an example. They inspire us. But, your life is probably full of obstacles, too, and that makes you something of a heroic figure then just waiting to be called up.
What if you’re being called up now?
It really is now or never. The future is but an idea at best, but today is yours. It is all that you have. You will never own tomorrow. It is now, and now is the time.
“If not now, when?” Hillel the Elder