…because thriving is the goal
Our lives can be viewed metaphorically as a landscape populated by a thriving city or by ruins. For better or worse, it is up to us to make do with what remains be it clearing away dumped rubbish, repairing old but sound structures, tearing down ruined buildings, or rebuilding boundaries. It is a worthy and necessary endeavor made more meaningful when done in a loving community committed to our success.
While the truth is necessary for our forward movement it also hurts. For many of us, our relationships with our mothers need the most truth and are also the source of most our pain in life particularly if there is abuse. Applying truth, boundaries, and learning to stand our ground can be especially helpful as we grieve our losses in close family relationships.
Many of our responses to our life experiences and relationships can be described as automatic or knee jerk, but it is possible to change our responses when we are able to discern and internalize alternatives.
While our coping strategies enable us to survive trauma and difficult circumstances, they do not serve us any longer when we are in recovery. They do not, however, lose their power. Sometimes we experience a sense of being “stuck” when we are still “coping” rather than moving forward with a greater sense of freedom.
Denial is an effective coping strategy, but telling the truth about your life and experiences is necessary if a complete recovery is the goal.