I have been on a bit of a blogging binge these past few days. I suspect the reason is that I am housebound. I had an arthroscopic surgical repair on my hip and must do a lot of sitting around. I feel compelled to… Continue Reading “Permission Granted”
I live in Minnesota. I overheard someone say once that we work for our seasons. That’s an oddly funny thing to say, but, if you live here, then you’ll understand the meaning in that sentiment. As a seasonal change approaches, the current weather patterns… Continue Reading “Abandoning the Self”
If it weren’t in such bad taste, I would post my mother’s latest letter and use it as an object lesson in “How To Recognize A Mindfuck”. Excuse my language, but there’s no other way to put it. Her entire letter was an exercise in gaslighting. I’m… Continue Reading “How To Recognize A Mindf*ck”
I’ve been asking myself a question–why do some people recover and learn to thrive in life while others remain stuck? I’m certain that there are many highly trained people who could give me good answers, but I do wonder if the foundation of those… Continue Reading “The Truth about Rose-Colored Glasses”
We work so hard in our recovery in order to establish boundaries of safety, predictability, and truth, and then someone comes along to challenge us and our healing process. Are we okay? Are we sure that we did “that” work? What do we do now?
While the truth is necessary for our forward movement it also hurts. For many of us, our relationships with our mothers need the most truth and are also the source of most our pain in life particularly if there is abuse. Applying truth, boundaries, and learning to stand our ground can be especially helpful as we grieve our losses in close family relationships.
While our coping strategies enable us to survive trauma and difficult circumstances, they do not serve us any longer when we are in recovery. They do not, however, lose their power. Sometimes we experience a sense of being “stuck” when we are still “coping” rather than moving forward with a greater sense of freedom.
Denial is an effective coping strategy, but telling the truth about your life and experiences is necessary if a complete recovery is the goal.