Tag: healing process

Playing Scrabble with Life

Happy September, everyone! I am ending a three-week break from school. The girls and I headed West to San Francisco for 12 days of doing whatever we wanted which pretty much meant drinking too much boba, hitting up stores that are not in the…

Living with Intention

I receive many emails asking how to fix a loved one.  It might be a mother with a personality disorder or a partner or family member with alexithymia.  In both cases, I have been that self-same person on the search for solutions.  I have…

The Masterpiece Within

As I’ve been taking a brief respite from blogging to gather my thoughts after the sexual harassment problems crescendoed, some interesting things moved to the foreground.  And, you can always count on me to share them if there’s something valuable in the mix. My…

Lunch with My Mother

Well, I did it.  I saw my mother and stepfather.  I wasn’t nervous at all until about an hour before I had to leave, and then it hit me.  I was suddenly scared that she was going to be unkind to me.  I was…

Being Julius Caesar

Did everyone make it through the Ides of March intact? When I was in high school, I was the only student in the history of my school to study Latin 3 or 4.  Nowadays, schools would delete the offering, but I guess the school…

Choosing the Healing Path

To bring you up to speed, one of the reasons I started this blog ages ago was to process having a relationship with my mother.  My mother has borderline personality disorder (BPD), but she also has other co-morbid disorders.  When I was growing up,…

A Healing Hypothesis

I’m supposed to be doing homework, but it’s cold and snowy.  I am entirely unmotivated to study the alimentary canal. A thought occurred to me when I was stuck in traffic a few days ago.  I’ll start with a question. How many times have…

The Holiday Revisited

My daughters and I did something a bit unusual for us yesterday.  For the first time in my life and henceforth theirs, we did not celebrate Christmas Eve.  When I was married, our family was interfaith in terms of family tradition, and my family…

Maybe C is for Catalyst

I want to talk about how finding out what motivates you can lead to personal liberation.  To do that, I will take you back to my junior year of college.  I was something of a fresh-faced know-it-all with something to prove.  I didn’t really…

Making Changes on Purpose

I saw Jack, my still-feeling-new therapist, on Tuesday, and we had an almost adversarial session.  It didn’t feel therapeutic to me.  I felt as if I were there to challenge his ideas and assumptions of what survivors of trauma look like.  He consistently says,…

The Prison of Maladaptive Behaviors

I am an independent person by nature.  I was an only child until my mother remarried when I was 11 years-old suddenly making me the youngest of three girls.  My developing personality came to a grinding halt.  I didn’t know my place in my…

The Significance of Being Seen

After almost a year of grad school perhaps one might expect to feel like this: Sometimes, however, I swear the doctors are looking at me like this ::cough::Dr. Hong::cough:: I suppose it goes with the territory.  Humility and feeling completely inadequate are better traits…