Category: domestic violence

The Disgust Cycle in Healing

I want to address something that inevitably comes up during the healing process after a break-up or divorce particularly if your ex-partner was not a very nice person.  What do I mean by ‘not nice’? Well, my marriage ended for many little reasons much…

Embrace the Process of Healing

“If I am not for myself, who is for me? And when I am for myself, what am I? And if not now, when?”— Hillel the Elder I’m 44 years-old, and I’ve been on the “therapy circuit” since I was 16.  As soon as…

Saying No is Good

Saying ‘no’ is good.  I seem to rarely do it, but I’ve heard other people tell me this.  I am kidding.  Sort of. I really find out just how good saying ‘no’ is particularly when I said ‘yes’ but really wanted to say ‘no’.  Do you know…

Entitlement and Domestic Abuse

I am going to record this for a very specific reason. Sometimes people give something away in the moment, and that’s the moment that things crystalize.  That’s the insight that you needed to confirm your hypothesis.  That’s when you know that you were right….

First Fruits

I have written at length about the dynamics within my marriage that contributed to its dissolution.  No one gets married to get divorced.  This is, however, the right thing.  I was told three years ago by a therapist that our situation was not sustainable,…

It’s Getting Hot in Here

I wish I could bring something therapeutically beneficial to the table this morning.  What I can do is let you take a peek inside the therapeutic process of a “domestic abuse victim”.  That’s what my therapist called me yesterday.  Well, that’s very real, isn’t…

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

This is the title of a book I just started reading by Lundy Bancroft, a well-known therapist who specializes in working with women in domestic violence and/or abusive relationships. The title didn’t thrill me.  It scared me, but the premise intrigued me.  How do…