Category: therapy

Nine Things I’ve Learned

I used to write a lot about trauma and the nature of it largely because I was in the middle of dealing with it.  For me, I would try to get outside of my own traumas and inspect them as if I were looking…

Becoming Strong

Today is a momentous day.  I see my mother at noon today for the first time in almost ten years.  At least I think it’s ten years. I have some long-time readers who will know that this is a big deal.  I have many…

Choosing the Healing Path

To bring you up to speed, one of the reasons I started this blog ages ago was to process having a relationship with my mother.  My mother has borderline personality disorder (BPD), but she also has other co-morbid disorders.  When I was growing up,…

Healing Past Trauma in The Present

I have been trying to find an appropriate way to write about a particular “emotional” experience that I have endured for years.  I wouldn’t blog about this were it not for the fact that most survivors of trauma seem to experience something quite similar. …

The Holiday Revisited

My daughters and I did something a bit unusual for us yesterday.  For the first time in my life and henceforth theirs, we did not celebrate Christmas Eve.  When I was married, our family was interfaith in terms of family tradition, and my family…

Pushing Back against Malignant Core Beliefs

I want to talk about negative core beliefs and dissonance–and perhaps a way to challenge them effectively.  Bear with me as I get there.  I have written a lot about my last two years in therapy with a neuroscientist.  I didn’t know initially that…

A Timely Ending

Jack the New Therapist aka the FNG will be no longer.  It has become a failed collaboration.  That is what my reasonable self says.  My snarky self is pointing at this: Jack has one of the worst Resting Bored Faces I’ve come across.  There are…

Making Changes on Purpose

I saw Jack, my still-feeling-new therapist, on Tuesday, and we had an almost adversarial session.  It didn’t feel therapeutic to me.  I felt as if I were there to challenge his ideas and assumptions of what survivors of trauma look like.  He consistently says,…

That Which Does Make You Stronger

I had an interesting therapy experience yesterday.  Jack is a very different therapist from my previous therapist.  The gap is growing wider forming a gulf that is coming to represent their differences, and I’m missing my former therapist more and more.  Alas, change is…

The Prison of Maladaptive Behaviors

I am an independent person by nature.  I was an only child until my mother remarried when I was 11 years-old suddenly making me the youngest of three girls.  My developing personality came to a grinding halt.  I didn’t know my place in my…

The Significance of Being Seen

After almost a year of grad school perhaps one might expect to feel like this: Sometimes, however, I swear the doctors are looking at me like this ::cough::Dr. Hong::cough:: I suppose it goes with the territory.  Humility and feeling completely inadequate are better traits…

The FNG Asks about Sex

I’ll be honest.  I miss my old Therapist.  Jack the FNG (“friendly” New Guy) is so different.  He’s a much younger PhD.  He feels like a grad student.  Yeah.  That young.  He’s growing a beard now.  He’s really tall.  Fit.  And very subdued.  In…