Category: divorce

Challenging the Ex Factor

I have been winding down my life in the cold North in preparation to pack it up and move it to the Bay Area.  Adieu, snow and cold.  Hello, Karl! This is Karl: Karl the Fog has his own Twitter (@KarltheFog) and Instagram (karlthefog)…

The Holiday Revisited

My daughters and I did something a bit unusual for us yesterday.  For the first time in my life and henceforth theirs, we did not celebrate Christmas Eve.  When I was married, our family was interfaith in terms of family tradition, and my family…

A Timely Ending

Jack the New Therapist aka the FNG will be no longer.  It has become a failed collaboration.  That is what my reasonable self says.  My snarky self is pointing at this: Jack has one of the worst Resting Bored Faces I’ve come across.  There are…

Does God Really Hate Divorce?

Why ask this question? Does it even matter? I’m asking the question because I’m going to attempt to answer it.  I’m also asking it because I have heard “God hates divorce” more times than I can count at this point, and I think that…

The Buffer and Rat Park

I went to therapy on Tuesday with a migraine. I have to pause for a moment and talk about migraines, pain, and trauma.  Whenever I have mentioned the nightmare known as The Migraine on any blog, well-meaning people have offered helpful comments.  I certainly want…

The Disgust Cycle in Healing

I want to address something that inevitably comes up during the healing process after a break-up or divorce particularly if your ex-partner was not a very nice person.  What do I mean by ‘not nice’? Well, my marriage ended for many little reasons much…

Saying No is Good

Saying ‘no’ is good.  I seem to rarely do it, but I’ve heard other people tell me this.  I am kidding.  Sort of. I really find out just how good saying ‘no’ is particularly when I said ‘yes’ but really wanted to say ‘no’.  Do you know…

Borderline Personality Disorder and Mirroring

I wrote this post, The Male Borderline Waif, a year ago, and it gets a lot of daily traffic.  For as much research that’s been accomplished over the decades around borderline personality disorder (BPD), there are still few answers to be had particularly for…

Entitlement and Domestic Abuse

I am going to record this for a very specific reason. Sometimes people give something away in the moment, and that’s the moment that things crystalize.  That’s the insight that you needed to confirm your hypothesis.  That’s when you know that you were right….

Blame and Accountability

I don’t advocate going through divorce, but, should you submit yourself to the process with your whole self, it will mature you in ways you didn’t anticipate. How? Dealing with difficult emotions on the fly while developing insight at the same time.  I’ll let…