Tag: shame

Circumstantial Alchemy

I like to write useful posts, and I’m going to try to spin this “leaden” topic into gold as it were.  I think I can do it. I am certainly getting many opportunities to engage in circumstantial alchemy at my college. I have to confess…

The Ego and You

Relationships can be very rewarding, but, truthfully, they can be difficult.  This is true for everyone regardless of any residual issues you might face in terms of family of origin, trauma, and relationship history.  This makes personal development in terms of interpersonal effectiveness, perspective-taking,…

The Disgust Cycle in Healing

I want to address something that inevitably comes up during the healing process after a break-up or divorce particularly if your ex-partner was not a very nice person.  What do I mean by ‘not nice’? Well, my marriage ended for many little reasons much…

Core Beliefs and Double Distortions

I paused writing about therapy because I wasn’t sure where to start.  I wish I could have filmed one session.  It was that good.  Alas, I will start where I stopped–core beliefs. Between the breath work and the core beliefs work, recovery is moving…

The High Maintenance Woman and Self-Care

A few weeks ago while I was browsing through Facebook, I came upon one of those ubiquitous quizzes.  This particular quiz was entitled “How High Maintenance are You?” and the women who had completed it were more than happy to post and comment on their…

Empathy vs. Sympathy

I’ve written about Brené Brown before.  Her PhD and research are focused on shame.  In one of her books, she identified herself as a ‘shame researcher’.  I find this fascinating.  Shame is part of the human experience as is its cousin, humiliation, and its brother, guilt….

Do You Like Receiving Compliments?

If you, like me, would rather artificially inseminate a stallion than receive a compliment, then this article is for you.  Here’s a quote: “…receiving praise from others when we feel negatively about ourselves elicits discomfort because it conflicts with our existing belief system. If…

The Resiliency Spectrum

I can’t believe that it’s been a month since my last post.  I don’t usually neglect my blog for such a long time, but life is changing chez moi.  I like to write posts that will, at a minimum, be interesting to read and, if…

I’m So Glad God Loves F*ck Ups

I’ve been privy to a very fascinating process over the past few weeks–the beginning steps of training a puppy to become an autism service dog.  Sometimes I feel like the most ignorant person on the planet.  There are so many interesting things a person…

Mighty Men and Parking Spaces

I had an interesting experience today.  I’ll be honest.  It started out as annoying and became interesting later.  To bring you up to speed, I have a very nasty, chest cold.  I also had a migraine at 4:30 AM this morning.  So, taking my…

Veins of Gold

We work so hard in our recovery in order to establish boundaries of safety, predictability, and truth, and then someone comes along to challenge us and our healing process. Are we okay? Are we sure that we did “that” work? What do we do now?

Living in Color

How you see yourself is not necessarily based on the truth but rather through a series of filters activated by life experiences. What might we really look like and who might we really be without the filters?