Tag: domestic abuse

A Timely Ending

Jack the New Therapist aka the FNG will be no longer.  It has become a failed collaboration.  That is what my reasonable self says.  My snarky self is pointing at this: Jack has one of the worst Resting Bored Faces I’ve come across.  There are…

Easing into The Season

For my non-American readers, Thursday was Thanksgiving here in the States.  It is a big deal.  It marks the beginning of The Holidays–a season of high stress, joy, high consumerism on display, dread, meaningful religious observations, turmoil, GERD, Mariah Carey on loop, and so…

The Buffer and Rat Park

I went to therapy on Tuesday with a migraine. I have to pause for a moment and talk about migraines, pain, and trauma.  Whenever I have mentioned the nightmare known as The Migraine on any blog, well-meaning people have offered helpful comments.  I certainly want…

The Disgust Cycle in Healing

I want to address something that inevitably comes up during the healing process after a break-up or divorce particularly if your ex-partner was not a very nice person.  What do I mean by ‘not nice’? Well, my marriage ended for many little reasons much…

Embrace the Process of Healing

“If I am not for myself, who is for me? And when I am for myself, what am I? And if not now, when?”— Hillel the Elder I’m 44 years-old, and I’ve been on the “therapy circuit” since I was 16.  As soon as…

Saying No is Good

Saying ‘no’ is good.  I seem to rarely do it, but I’ve heard other people tell me this.  I am kidding.  Sort of. I really find out just how good saying ‘no’ is particularly when I said ‘yes’ but really wanted to say ‘no’.  Do you know…

Entitlement and Domestic Abuse

I am going to record this for a very specific reason. Sometimes people give something away in the moment, and that’s the moment that things crystalize.  That’s the insight that you needed to confirm your hypothesis.  That’s when you know that you were right….

Real Talk

Stress.  It doesn’t have to be a bad thing.  I keep telling myself that.  Stress is one of those buzz words in our culture that implies that something is wrong.  It’s not something that needs to be.  It is simply an outside force acting…

First Fruits

I have written at length about the dynamics within my marriage that contributed to its dissolution.  No one gets married to get divorced.  This is, however, the right thing.  I was told three years ago by a therapist that our situation was not sustainable,…

Therapy Tuesday: Rewriting History

Tuesday’s therapy session was excellent.  In fact, it was so good that it is worth sharing.  I have been trying to document the therapeutic process in an effort to depict how the process works so that those who are afraid of entering in will…

To Blame or Not To Blame

Truth is not easy.  Telling it, avoiding it, denying it, seeing it.  Sometimes it isn’t clear.  The truth, from my perspective, might look wildly different from someone else’s perspective.  Perspectives.  I do understand this. Perspective-taking is the bedrock of empathy.  Before you can enter…

Therapy Tuesday: It’s Not Your Fault

Last Monday, my husband asked if he could take me out to lunch.  I immediately felt a mild dread bloom in my stomach.  We have an awkward and unusual living situation.  We have stated that we no longer want to be married.  We both…