Out of the Mire
…because thriving is the goal
Category: abuse in families
A Blessing
I want to pause the DBT button for a moment and talk about something ontologically significant–our right to be here. Let me explain. Many people who follow this blog have experienced abuse. Someone from war-torn Africa once commented. Abuse doesn’t have to be overt… Continue Reading “A Blessing”
A Visit from An Old Friend
I was cleaning my kitchen yesterday evening. My mind will wander and open up when I clean my kitchen, scrub the counters, and unload the dishwasher. It must be akin to the Shower Principle. We do something so familiar to us that our minds… Continue Reading “A Visit from An Old Friend”
Learning to Deal
In my last post, I talked about learning to make plans for yourself in the context of possessing a sense of a foreshortened future. This can feel almost impossible if one has poor distress tolerance. Distress tolerance is very important when it comes to… Continue Reading “Learning to Deal”
Learning from Hitler’s Children
I watched the documentary “Hitler’s Children” last night. The filmmakers found the direct descendants of Rudolph Höss, Heinrich Himmler, Hermann Göring, Hans Frank, and Amon Goeth in order to find out how they cope with carrying the surname and legacy of such notorious and… Continue Reading “Learning from Hitler’s Children”
A False Perception of Self
I’m finally getting around to writing a follow-up post to Breaking The Mold. What are our options if we have confused our personae for our authentic identity? More than that, what if we can’t tell the difference and feel trapped in some sort of… Continue Reading “A False Perception of Self”
Dealing with Dissociation
I want to talk for a moment about dissociation. There will come a moment in almost all our lives when we will check out. A part of us will go away in order to cope with pain. The human brain is very complex,… Continue Reading “Dealing with Dissociation”
Breaking The Mold
I have never contacted an author for any reason. Never because I’ve liked their material. Never to complain. Never because I was fan-girling over their latest novel or having a fit over how they wrote a character out of a storyline. I am… Continue Reading “Breaking The Mold”
Logical Fallacies
I was at my therapist yesterday for another session. We did not do EMDR. Instead we spoke more about the protective emotions. Just like on Sesame Street, the word of the day was DISGUST. What does disgust look like in the world to me?… Continue Reading “Logical Fallacies”
Practicing The Skills
I wasn’t going to write about this, but I thought perhaps I might in an effort to show what continued work looks like. As I’ve said, I decided to go back to therapy to make sure that I was contained. After my mother’s repeated… Continue Reading “Practicing The Skills”
The Professional Victim
We’ve all met one. No matter how much energy you pour into the relationship, be it professional, friendly, or familial, you somehow end up being the bad guy. It’s your fault! There wasn’t a problem until you pointed out the problem, therefore, YOU are… Continue Reading “The Professional Victim”
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Out of the Mire 