Category: relationships

The Borderline Blame Storm

I was asked recently to write more about being in relationship with someone who expresses as having a personality disorder. Firstly, I want to be careful because I don’t want to vilify people who carry this diagnosis.  There is a lot of inflammatory rhetoric…

Can You Nullify A Person?

My therapist is wise.  I appreciate him.  Sometimes we chip away at our therapeutic process for months, even years, and we get good results although we’d like to move faster.  And, then, our therapist says one thing that busts everything wide open.  It isn’t…

The Male Borderline Waif

I’ve written a lot on borderline personality disorder (BPD) on this blog largely because my mother has the disorder.  It is not something I wish to vilify, and I don’t want to verbally mistreat people who have been diagnosed with it either.  Of all…

Therapy Tuesday: Rewriting History

Tuesday’s therapy session was excellent.  In fact, it was so good that it is worth sharing.  I have been trying to document the therapeutic process in an effort to depict how the process works so that those who are afraid of entering in will…

Alexithymia and the Secret Schizoid

I want to switch gears for a moment.  Some time ago I wrote this post–Affective Deprivation Disorder and Alexithymia in Marriage.  According to my stats, this is the most widely viewed post on my blog.  That is telling.  I had never heard of alexithymia…

Doing The Best We Can?

There is a DBT concept or belief that says: Everyone is doing the best they can in the moment.  I remember taking the DBT course and hearing this core belief for the first time.  I bristled.  I raised my hand.  I asked for one…

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

This is the title of a book I just started reading by Lundy Bancroft, a well-known therapist who specializes in working with women in domestic violence and/or abusive relationships. The title didn’t thrill me.  It scared me, but the premise intrigued me.  How do…

Therapy Homework: Anger

I had Tuesday Therapy last week as usual but not this week.  This week is Spring Break, and I was with my family in a cabin in the woods on the North Shore of Lake Superior.  Duh duh duuuuuuuh…(my husband only stayed a day…

Cognitive Empathy

A friend commented on my prolific blog writing lately.  I write more when I’m processing something.  I have another blog.  Were I dealing with an exacerbation in symptoms in one of my daughters I would be posting there.  Some of the content here could…

Applying Meaning

I am trying to put meaning to my circumstances as they intensify, and they are intensifying.  Every day is an adventure and not a good one.  I don’t know what’s going to happen next with my husband, and each of my daughters has had…