Category: self-advocacy

Stopping the Holiday Madness

The Iceman hath indeed cometh to my neighborhood.  I woke up in the wee hours of the morning to the sound of snowplows clearing snow and scraping concrete.  I had grand plans to “get shit done” yesterday until my car got stuck in the…

What’s Behind Victim-Blaming?

I feel like I’m writing installments for a weird soap opera–“Tune in today for the continuation of the saga.  Will there be an investigation? Will the administration give up their lazy ways and comply with Title IX? Will there still be a hearing? What…

Why Reporting Harassment Matters

Amidst the #Metoo movement and Harvey Weinstein perp walk, one might begin to believe that dealing with the nuts and bolts of reporting sexual harassment would suddenly get easier.  It really hasn’t, but it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t.  You totally should. Realistically, it…

Developing Grit

It’s been too long since my last post.  Forgive me, faithful readers. I was not prepared for how I would feel after I reported the ongoing sexual harassment–the Sean Situation. One imagines that it would be empowering.  From experience, I can tell you that…

Claude and Me

I don’t know about you, but I don’t like people knowing about my deeper, darker trauma history.  I don’t like people knowing that I ultimately ended my marriage because of domestic violence.  It goes without saying that I don’t like people knowing that I…

Saying No is Good

Saying ‘no’ is good.  I seem to rarely do it, but I’ve heard other people tell me this.  I am kidding.  Sort of. I really find out just how good saying ‘no’ is particularly when I said ‘yes’ but really wanted to say ‘no’.  Do you know…

The High Maintenance Woman and Self-Care

A few weeks ago while I was browsing through Facebook, I came upon one of those ubiquitous quizzes.  This particular quiz was entitled “How High Maintenance are You?” and the women who had completed it were more than happy to post and comment on their…

The Borderline Blame Storm

I was asked recently to write more about being in relationship with someone who expresses as having a personality disorder. Firstly, I want to be careful because I don’t want to vilify people who carry this diagnosis.  There is a lot of inflammatory rhetoric…

Opening The Vaults

I am still in therapy.  It’s no longer something I remotely enjoy not that I ever enjoyed sitting in the Hot Seat before.  Now, however, it’s work, and I can feel it.  I can feel myself becoming defensive when my therapist asks a question…

Intermission: More Assertiveness Training

Stop the presses! Read all about it! I was assertive and didn’t like it! With whom was I assertive? A rabbi.  I was assertive with a rabbi!!! I feel stressed thinking about it, but I did it anyway.  A rabbi is no grumpy barista….