Category: Mothers

The God Card

An aptly named post, I think, as it’s beginning to feel like a soap opera over here.  I just need a guy named Dirk to move in next door, and my neighbors across the street to start throwing down outside.  But, hey, we did…

speak.

I wanted to say something about speaking the truth. I have often found myself in conversations with people discussing personal circumstances that are gridlocked.  Marriages are in turmoil.  People feel unheard, invisible, and helpless.  I’ve been in that situation.  Or, perhaps it’s something familial….

How To Recognize A Mindf*ck

If it weren’t in such bad taste, I would post my mother’s latest letter and use it as an object lesson in “How To Recognize A Mindfuck”.  Excuse my language, but there’s no other way to put it.  Her entire letter was an exercise in gaslighting.  I’m…

Understanding The Borderline Mother, Part III: The No-Good Child

As promised, here is the other side of the coin regarding “Make-Believe Children”–the no-good child.  Yesterday, I wrote a rather lengthy post describing the all-good child, and I found it to be a rather educational and somewhat emotional post to write.  I think, however,…

Understanding The Borderline Mother, Part II: The All-Good Child

I finally decided to stop fooling around and powered through Christine Lawson’s book Understanding The Borderline Mother.  I have some odd ability to quickly absorb books like this.  I read 200 pages in three hours.  I feel raw after reading it, and the only…

Understanding The Borderline Mother, Part I

I continually try to get away from the topic of borderline personality disorder on this blog, but I find that art is imitating life.  I can’t get away from it in my life either.  Why fight it? I’m going to try to make it…

It Is Finished

It’s done.  After weeks of deliberation, writing, re-writing, editing, praying, procrastinating, and, yes, even fasting, I have sent my mother my final words and the book Borderline Personality Disorder Demystified. My original letter to her was thirteen pages long.  Yeah, that’s too long.  I,…

Sadists, Puppy Love, and Our Shimmering Hearts

Is “surreal” an emotion? May I take apart this word–sur réalité or sur réalisme? Taken from the French, it literally means ‘on reality’ or ‘on top of realism’.  The sense is that one is floating above the weightiness of the solid world.  One has…

You Shall Not Pass

Where do I begin? At the beginning? I can’t even find the beginning.  The beginning of this day? It was snowing.  We finally got a bit of snow.  It started to feel seasonal.  Christmas is approaching.  My girls were frolicking in the flurries.  We…

The Cost

My mother was adopted when she was about 6 months-old.  The story goes like this: My grandparents were walking through the orphanage when they came upon my mother.  She was sitting in a crib.  She looked up at my grandfather with big, blue eyes,…